This week I read an incredibly powerful piece by Elise Dyer about what happens after a psychologically unsafe workplace breaks you. It put into words so many of the conversations I’ve been having over the past few months , not only with friends and colleagues, but with people all over the world who have quietly shared their own experiences with me.

One message really resonated:
Leaving is not the end of the story. Recovery is.

We often talk about burnout, redundancy, toxic cultures or poor leadership as if walking out of the door is the answer and then it’s over….
It isn’t.

For many people, that’s where the real work starts.

Over the past year I’ve spoken to people who have lost confidence they spent decades building. People who question their own judgement. People who still wake up anxious months after leaving. People who carry shame that never belonged to them in the first place. And if I’m honest…

I recognise myself in that too.

When my own chapter ended, I did what so many do. I threw myself straight into the next challenge. I started building my business, creating programmes, writing my memoir, planning retreats and trying to prove to myself as much as anyone else that I was absolutely fine enjoying it “on to bigger and better things”

Looking back, I can see I skipped over something important.
I never really gave myself permission to grieve.

To be angry.

To acknowledge the loss of an organisation I had loved, the identity I had built over many years, and the emotional impact of leaving.

Eventually those feelings caught up with me. They always do.

What I’ve learned is that healing isn’t linear.

Some days you feel energised and optimistic. Other days a conversation, an email or a memory can take you straight back there.

And that’s normal.

So this is my message to leaders.

Please don’t underestimate the impact your culture has on people. The decisions you make, the behaviours you tolerate, the silence you allow and the psychological safety you either create or destroy don’t simply affect performance or engagement scores.

They stay with people long after they’ve left.
Sometimes for months.
Sometimes for years.

Leadership isn’t just measured by the results you achieve.

It’s measured by the people who leave your organisation and whether they leave believing in themselves or questioning their worth.

And to anyone reading this who is still recovering…

Please know this.

If you’re finding it takes longer than you expected to feel like yourself again, you are not weak.

You are not failing.

You are healing.

That takes time and you’re not alone.

And perhaps the greatest act of leadership we can show ourselves is giving ourselves permission to recover before expecting ourselves to perform again.

I’d love to know whether this resonates with others. How long did it take you to feel like yourself again after leaving an unhealthy workplace?

Resource and further reading : https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/after-workplace-breaks-you-psychological-safety-recovery-elise-dyer-xpmtf/